Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Killer : AAARrrgh !!! Wooga wooga !

Erin : Nooooooooooooo !!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!

Killer : Wooga wooga woog !

Erin, Morgan, Pepper, Jimmy & Kemper : Please no !!! Don’t cut us up into little bits !

What do you think? Do you really want to sit through one hour and forty minutes of this? Women with floppy breasts and wet T-shirts running around with blood-stained clothing (mainly played by Jessica Biel)... A killer with skin-disease who decides to act out his fantasies of looking deadly handsome for the ladies… All that sure enough is a load of cack.

But it’s not all bad. I enjoy horror flicks. I really do. However, I never really got into the 1974 version of the movie. Obviously, this newer version had more funds injected in the making. Admittedly, this will have a tendency to make even the more reluctant viewer somehow satisfied. The gory bits are nice and dirty but when a guy gets his leg cut off… well… you can almost see it in slow motion.

But that’s not what I would consider as the (rare) plus for this movie. Truly, where Marcus Nispel (director) scores all the points is in the stress that he manages to create. In that he is helped a great deal by Sheriff Hoyt (R. Lee Ermey who you may remember as Clyde Percy in Dead Man Walking). The scenes where he is present really got me biting my nails.

All in all, Texas Chainsaw Massacre is what it claims to be and nothing else. An enjoyable horror motion picture (without the sex scene…).

Polo